me in high school: omg cant wait for college
me in college: omg cant wait for the 10 years between retirement and the cold embrace of the grave
Part of me just wants to cuddle with you until we fall asleep and part of me wants to make you moan until your lungs give out
There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.
I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele